


Lessons Learned at the Kitchen Table

by orphan_account



Series: Ereri Week 2015 [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Day 2, Disabled Adult, Disabled Eren, Ereri Week, Gen, Mentions of Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Slash, mentally ill, summer job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 11:46:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4058806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 2: Summer Job || “If I thought this was a mere summer job, I would have left by now. You’re worth more than that, kid.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons Learned at the Kitchen Table

“I’ve handled plenty of difficult cases, Officer Hannes I assure you that I can handle a single boy for a couple months,” Levi said, the boy in question pointedly ignoring them as he kicked his feet back and forth, smacking the cabinet door under the counter with every swing. It was a steady _thump-thump-thump_ that was, frankly, quite annoying. But Levi wasn’t going to have his first words to the kid be a demand to knock it off, so he allowed the grievance to slide.

For now.

“Here’s his medications, his summer itinerary, and emergency contacts in case something happens. You came highly recommended, and I’m relieved you were available on such short notice,” Hannes continued, his face flushed. “I’m sorry, this is the first time I’ve had to leave for so long—”

“Your son will be fine, Officer,” Levi cut him off, and the steady thumps broke rhythm, the sound of two heels slamming against wood matching the flinch in Hannes’ face.

“He’s _not_ my father,” the kid hissed, no longer sitting on the kitchen counter. He was standing, his hands balled into fists at his sides, and fury etched into every quivering muscle.

“No, I’m not,” Hannes agreed, and the boy did a complete flip in personality, relaxing and leaning against the counter again. He went back to ignoring them, supposedly, as Hannes relaxed in turn. Levi was beginning to suspect that the man needed a break from the kid for a summer, despite how nervous he was to leave. It also made sense why Levi was requested, instead of one of the other care providers.

Levi was going to have his work cut out for him, he could feel it already.

“My mistake. But Eren will be okay, it’s only for the summer. Then school will start again, and he’ll be back in classes. You go do your job, and I’ll do mine,” Levi said, and the man sighed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

When the door closed behind the man, he turned to regard his newest assignment. The kid had moved to sit at the kitchen table, a rather depressing-looking piece of furniture that didn’t match the rest of the kitchen. It was covered in dark marks, scratches, and put a whole new meaning to ‘distressed’ furniture. It was the first thing Levi had noticed in the kitchen, and he had wondered why it was there, considering no other piece of furniture that he’d seen on the way to the room had matched its state. But that question was answered as Eren sat at the table, one arm stretched out with his head pillowed on it, tongue pinched between covered teeth and sticking out to the left of his mouth. The other hand was wielding a permanent marker, the cap off and the felt tip sliding and dipping along the surface.

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing that this was going to be a long summer.

* * *

 

One week with Eren Jaeger had brought three facts to light for Levi.

One: Levi was _not_ getting paid enough for this. He wondered if Hanji had purposefully left information out of the initial folder. Not that Levi tended to read the folder, as it was easier to talk to the client and learn what he needed to from them instead. But this, Levi believed, would have been an exception. Once he had left Eren doodling on the kitchen table, he had grabbed the folder and skimmed it, not seeing anything that he hadn’t seen already. Anger issues, family issues, lives with a foster placement, mentally unstable, prone to bouts of anger and aggression.

It had _not_ mentioned that when not engaged, the kid was a space-case. He had to be watched _constantly_ to prevent him from just walking out the door of the house. The first shopping trip was… memorable. In many ways.

Which led to point two: The kid was easily agreeable when not a raging ball of anger. Simple commands were instantly followed, and Levi wasn’t above using that to his advantage. Telling the kid to pick up after himself, to go take a shower, to put his clothes away, to eat his dinner, to go to bed, to go read a book, all of those were easily followed. However, there was always the chance that Eren would lose his shit and start raging at one of the commands. Like that first day, when Levi had told Eren to stop drawing on the table, the kid had snapped, raged, and then quieted and said that Hannes allowed him to doodle on the table if he didn’t do it anywhere else. The mystery of the awful-looking piece of furniture now made perfect sense.

And, finally, three: Eren wasn’t a bad kid. Levi was sitting on the sofa, watching as Eren coloured on the kitchen table with a pen, carving deep grooves into the surface as he stared blankly into wherever he tended to spend his time.

“What’re you thinking about?” Levi asked. This was a generally safe question, and it let Levi know what landmines were active at the moment. Eren hummed, his pen pausing as he focused slightly, the foggy look in his eyes receding enough to remind Levi of how bright they were.

“Why are people at the top of the food chain? Humanity considers themselves the greatest predator, but is that true? If you stuck a human out in the middle of a forest with only their meager skills to survive, they’d die. They’d be killed or eaten by the local wildlife. So why do they consider themselves so high and mighty?”

Levi nodded, once again reminded that Eren was _not_ stupid (even if he behaved like a complete space-case the majority of the time).

“That is a good question. Do you want to find out? Do you think there’s an answer?”

“Not one that’s unbiased or untainted by human superiourity,” Eren admitted, laying his head back down on his arm and picking up his pen again. “People are idiots.”

Levi hummed thoughtfully, wondering if the kid felt like this all the time. It would explain his ever-present anger, often masked by his indifferent, vacant personality. A personality Levi was realizing only existed as a band-aid. A fraying, worn band-aid that was beginning to lose its adhesive.

Levi wanted to tear it off.

* * *

 

“Where do you want to go?” Levi asked, flipping through the pages of a magazine without looking at them. Eren was sitting across from him, drawing on a sheet of paper.

The last month had shown great progress in Eren’s behaviour. Hanji would be fascinated to read the case notes, he knew. Where before, Eren had been a ticking time bomb, the wrong movement likely to set him into a fit of rage, now he was much calmer.

Hannes had not been cut out for raising Eren, not to put blame or fault on the man. He doubted any typical foster placement was equipped to living with the boy. Hannes had fallen into a routine when it came to handling Eren, and while it was good for maintaining the status quo, it had put obvious strain on the man. He had nearly had a nervous breakdown at the thought of leaving Eren alone for two months. Even though Levi was a licensed care provider working with the Wings of Freedom Psychiatric Research Center. The Jaeger case had always fascinated Hanji, and so when Hannes’ job called him away, the doctor had been quick to throw Levi under the bus and take the case.

“I want to go see my friends.”

Levi looked up at Eren, who was looking at him steadily, his eyes almost as blank as the first day he had been here. But there was something there, a challenge. What, Levi didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to dismiss it.

“That’s fine. Go get dressed.”

Eren did, putting on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. It was his normal attire, and it didn’t matter that it was one of the hottest days of the year. He wore the dark clothes as if the heat meant nothing. Maybe it didn’t; Eren seemed to have no problem with temperatures at all, even if the air conditioning was turned low for Levi’s sake.

They walked. Eren didn’t want to take the car, so they walked, Eren holding a box in his hands that he refused to show Levi the contents of. ‘Gifts’ had been the only answer he had received from Eren, and so he let it be. But they were walking, and Levi was wondering where exactly they were headed.

“Do they know you’re coming over?” Levi asked, as he had never heard Eren mention his friends before. No one had come to visit Eren during the month, no calls, no letters, nothing. The fact that Eren _had_ friends was surprising. The fact that it was surprising to Levi was a reason for it to be depressing in and of itself.

“I just show up, they don’t care.”

Eren didn’t talk again, instead picking his pace up. He didn’t seem excited to go visit his friends, though Eren hardly looked anything except apathetic or angry. So when they turned into a large archway, a stone angel perched on each side, Levi hadn’t seen it coming.

_St. Maria Cemetery_ , the gate read, and Eren passed under it without a second glance. Levi trailed behind him quietly, the rows and rows of headstones catching his eye. Eren didn’t falter in his steps, his expression never changing even as he turned left and right, walking down paths that it seemed he had memorized years ago.

Eren paused in the middle of a row, turning to look at the names engraved on the dark stone.

_Armin Arlert_

_Nov 3, 1990 - Mar 30, 2006_

_Mikasa Ackerman_

_Feb 10, 1989 - Mar 30, 2006_

Eren set the box down, taking the lid off. Levi saw the drawings inside, and he realized it was every drawing that he had done, neatly piled in order of creation. Eren got on his knees, placing his fingers on the grave of Mikasa Ackerman. The names around them didn’t match, nothing to show why they had been buried here, of all places.

“I killed them,” Eren said, his voice unaffected. “My mother is three rows down, three spaces over. I killed them all.”

“What happened?” Levi asked, kneeling beside the boy, which was a misleading label as Eren was twenty-two now, unable to live independently because of his disability.

“I crashed the car while arguing with my mother. I just got my license that day. We were going to dinner to celebrate, and I told her I wanted to join the Air Force. I was the only one to live, Levi. I killed them all because I wanted to prove to my mother who was in control.”

“Eren, you were only a kid. It was a mistake,” Levi said, and the boy looked up at him, his eyes showing nothing of the turmoil that must have been trapped within.

“Do you know why humans consider themselves at the top of the food chain?” Eren asked again, and Levi felt his mouth go dry.

“Why?”

“Because we’re the only creatures that kill for pleasure. While other animals can overpower us and devour us for food, we’re the only ones who develop ways to kill them for fun. What does physical strength matter when you can use a different method designed for the weak?”

“Humans are weak, Eren. But together, we can be strong.”

“We’re worthless.”

“Only if you give up on us,” he continued, touching a hand to Eren’s cheek. It was warm to the touch. “Don’t go down that road. There’s no coming back.”

“I don’t know how.”

“Let me show you?” Levi asked, holding out his other hand. Eren looked at it blankly, before placing his own inside. Levi grasped it, and he let the promise fall from his lips.

“Let me teach you how to fly, Eren.”

* * *

 

Hannes wouldn’t be coming back. Caught by a bullet in the line of duty, he was buried in the same cemetery as Eren’s friends, and the funeral was short and sweet.

Eren cried. It was the first time he had cried since before the car accident. He told Levi as much later that night, when they were back home. Home, Levi mused, which was a lot more permanent a word now. He had received the call and offer from Erwin, and accepted it. He was legally responsible for Eren Jaeger now, until a time where he could be reevaluated to live independently. Levi told Eren this, which set Eren off crying again. He let the boy cry, knowing that it was a step in the right direction. It meant that there were still emotions hiding within him, and they were finally finding a way out past the band-aid personality.

“Do you want to stay here, or do you want to move to my house?” Levi asked a week later, watching as Eren drew on the kitchen table. It was a step back, Levi having gotten Eren to stick to paper, but the trauma of losing Hannes seemed to have set several developments a few notches back.

“What will happen to here if I move?” Eren asked, and Levi replied honestly.

“The house would be sold.”

“And your house, if I stayed here?”

“Sold.”

Eren didn’t pause in his drawing, his eyes deceptively blank as he scribbled something that only made sense to him on the surface.

“I keep thinking Hannes will walk into the room. I don’t like it here without him.”

It took the rest of the month to pack up the remains of Hannes’ life, putting it in storage for Eren when he was ready to go through it. Levi put the kitchen table in Eren’s new room. Eren went back to using paper.

* * *

 

Levi’s job would have ended today, if things had gone according to plan. But now Eren was living with Levi permanently, his job having changed to accommodate the development. Eren was improving steadily, though it would be years before Eren could consider independence. He was still prone to fits of hysteria, anger, and apathy, though more time was appearing between outbursts.

Levi had taken to catching Eren up in school, deciding homeschooling was a better course of action than the education courses that the health department had him enrolled in. Levi had gone to observe for one lesson and declared Eren wasn’t going back. At the rate the instructors were taking, Eren would be dead of old age before he got his high-school diploma.

It also let Levi gauge how adept Eren really was. He was determined to learn, most days. Some days it took all of Levi’s patience to get Eren to do something besides draw in the answer boxes. Today was one of those days.

“Eren, I know you’re able to do this. You need to focus.”

“I want to go outside,” he said, drawing a picture of a sun in the answer box. Levi kept his exasperation under check, knowing that it wouldn’t help his case.

“And I told you we could after you finish. You have six problems left. Then we can go outside. We _would_ have been outside two hours ago.”

“I don’t like being inside all the time,” Eren said. “It reminds me of my father.”

Levi had not heard Eren mention his father, not since the day they met and Levi made the slip-up, thinking that Officer Hannes was his biological parent. He wondered if Eren really wanted to talk about his dad, or was trying to use it as a diversion tactic from his homework.

“Does it?”

Levi took the bait, not wanting to miss the opportunity but knowing that it was also losing the battle of wills with the boy. Eren nodded.

“I wasn’t allowed outside until he left my mom. That was when I was thirteen.”

“You didn’t go outside at all?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I stabbed someone when I was angry. They were hurting Mikasa, so I stabbed them. I got in trouble and wasn’t allowed outside until they got a divorce. He wanted me to go live at his work. Mom said no.”

“Where did he work?”

“He works at the Sina State Hospital,” Eren answered. “He’s the head psychologist there.”

Works. He was still alive. And he hadn’t come for his son after his ex-wife’s death? Levi could understand the anger that was constantly boiling beneath the surface, and he took the sheet of paper from the table, tossing it in the trash.

“Let’s go outside, then. You can work on it tomorrow.”

Eren smiled, and Levi felt his heart skip a beat.

They ended up at the park, where Eren climbed a tree and proceeded to stay there until Levi lured him down with promises of food. Overall, it was an evening where emotions were calm and content, which was why the next day Eren’s outburst of anger was not unexpected. Days where Eren did exceptionally well tended to be followed by the days where chaos reigned.

“He left me, Levi! When the state called him to come pick me up, he signed me over to them instead! Said he didn’t have the time to deal with raising me and working! That I wasn’t his problem!”

Levi held him tightly, hands grasping Eren’s to prevent him from swinging them wildly. He had the boy pinned against his chest, and he waited until he was done ranting before speaking.

“Your dad is a piece of shit. I agree with that. I’m not going to defend his actions. He let you down, Eren. He wasn’t a parent when he needed to be.” Levi’s chin rested on Eren’s shoulder, his fingers massaging Eren’s wrists and hands. “But do you want him to have this much control over you? This anger is destroying you, Eren. Look at what it’s done to your life so far. And I don’t mean the accident,” he cut in, feeling the tension building in Eren’s muscles. “I mean right now. Right here. You’re twenty-two, and having to be minded twenty-four-seven because you aren’t capable of caring for yourself yet. You cut yourself off from reality so long you don’t know how to live in it again. You’re doing better, but this anger keeps driving you back. You’re already fighting an uphill battle, why would you want to add more to it?”

“But how do I stop?!” Eren wailed, and Levi knew it was progress. This was progress, even if Eren wouldn’t recognize it.

“You have to learn. That’s why I’m here. I’m going to teach you, Eren. Do you trust me?”

“I thought I was just a summer job to you,” Eren muttered, and Levi huffed.

“Three months, and you still think that? We’re going to be living together for a long time, Eren. How long depends on how much effort you put into it, and if I thought this was a mere summer job, I would have left by now. But you’re worth more than that, kid.”

Eren stopped struggling in Levi’s hold, but Levi didn’t remove his arms from around Eren, and Eren didn’t make a move to get away. They sat in silence for the rest of the evening, a new understanding dawning between the two. It was small, struggling to break through the surface, but for the first time since they met there was a feeling in the air between them. Young, hopeful, and threatening to grow.

“I trust you,” Eren whispered, and Levi smiled.

It went both ways.

**Author's Note:**

> I have to say I wasn't too happy with this one :/ hope you liked it anyway.


End file.
